Less vs. Fewer

It's time for a grammar rant! This has been driving me nuts. I don't know why, but I've been noticing "less" and "fewer" misusage a lot lately, and it's almost always "less" being used incorrectly. It seems like everyone's afraid to say "fewer," or maybe they forgot its existence altogether. On TV I keep hearing about "less calories" and at the supermarket the "10 or less items" signs make me cringe.

It's an easy rule: Use "less" for uncountable items and "fewer" for countable things. Uncountable items include water, rice, love, corn and air. Countable things include carrots, kittens, shoes, books and pens. Notice a pattern? Countable nouns can be pluralized, often with an "s". You wouldn't usually say you're breathing airs or eating rices.

So I can say I drank less water today. I have less rice than you. I feel less love for parrots than for kittens. But: I ate fewer carrots today. I have fewer fleas than kittens. I bought fewer shoes this year.

Uncountable items can only be countable if talking about types. For example, Trader Joe's sells 14 Italian cheeses and 22 domestic beers; Safeway sells 8 and 27, respectively. So you could say Safeway sells fewer Italian cheeses and TJ's sells sells fewer domestic beers. But if you're talking mass, they aren't countable: TJ's sells less beer annually, but Safeway sells less cheese.

Now, for every rule there's an exception. In this case, there are three-- money, time, and distance-- and we use "less" with these. I earned $5,000 less this year. I'll be there in five minutes or less. It's less than two miles to my house.

And that's today's grammar lesson. See you in less than 24 hours.